


Play with fire

by Sedit



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Abuse, Angst and Humor, Bill Cipher is a Jerk, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Eventual Smut, F/M, Human Bill Cipher, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love/Hate, Manipulative Bill Cipher, Occult, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Swearing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-08-07 15:11:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16410851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sedit/pseuds/Sedit
Summary: You hear those people in the basement. They scream. With pain. Pure pain. You bite your lower lip. Usually there's not thst many screams. You decided to check it out.





	1. Chapter 1

You woke up in your bedroom. If... You even can call it a bedroom. It's just a small room, with a mattress, a desk, and a bookshelf. Is it because your parents don't love you? Probably not. They kept saying that they couldn't have kids. And that you were the gift from their god. You weren't sure what that meant. But you guessed that they must've pissed off their god, considering there are often screams in your basement.

You've touched your eyepatch which was on the nightstand next to your bed, and sighed softly. Well. Of course the God could only gift you to your parents if you weren't perfect. You didn't have your right eye. You were always blind. Or.. At least thats what mother and father say. And you believe them. Why wouldn't you? They never lied. And they didn't force you to go to school after the kids started picking on you. You just had classes with mother once a day.

A soft knock on your door could be heard. It was mother. Father knocks more times. "Come in.." you said in a raspy voice. Afterall you just woke up. She brought you pancakes and orange juice. So she had a very good mood today. A huge smile appeared on your face.

"Good morning sweetheart. I made you breakfa-" Before she could finish, you gave her a tight hug

"Thank you soooo much!" you exclaimed quite loudly. Mother just laughed in response and left the plate on your desk. She then reminded you about your class which was supposed to start in an hour. You didn't quite listen because you were too busy with your precious pancakes.

 

And so, the day went by. Normal as always. When the sun was setting down, your Father came into the living room, where you were watching cartoons. And he said the usual thing. "Honey, go to your bedroom, it's nighttine already. And we're going to have guests. Ignore any loud noises." You said in sync. You knew this all too well. It's been said to you way too many times over the past 13 years. So you just went to your room, changed into pajamas, and went back to sleep.

Something woke you up. You could hear those people in the basement. They scream. With pain. Pure pain. You bite your lower lip. Usually there's not that many screams. You decided to check it out. Which was always a bad idea in horror movies. But you watched them only when your parents were out. You quietly opened the door, and when you walked out of your safezone, you immediately smelled something. Smoke. And burn. A cough escaoes your lips. Were mother and father okay? It was your only concern.

So you did what your parents told you to never do. You went to the basement. It was burning. There were dead bodies. And your parents. Who stood in front of a strange man. They were crying and pleading. Why?

"Mommy.. Daddy...?" A sob escaped your lips. Tears ran doen your face. You were absolutely terrified by the dead man who was lying on stairs. His eyes started straight into yours.

"Ah! There is my little part of the deal!" Your gaze quickly shifted to the person who said that. It was that naked man, who stood in the middle of some sort of circle. You mostly noticed just his blonde hair, because your staring was disturbed by his flick of fingers. And just like that... Clothes appeared on him. Quite elegant onces aswell.

"Hah, sorry you had to see me exposed kiddo. Hope i didn't give you nightmares.. Yet" he said with a wink, as he pushed trough your parents, and made his way towards you. Normally you would be very embarrassed of an exposed man, but your mom already talked with you about human body. So it wasn't anything out of ordinary... But his snapping clothes. That was something else.

"Bill, please don't take her!" Father cried out, as he reached his hand in the strangers direction. Bill... Bill... Oh. Something clicked. It was the name of your god. So was it...

"God?" you asked, staring straight into strangers face. "Why... Would you take me?"

For a second his face was full of confusion. Then it turned into laugh. "D-Did you two mortals tell. Her i am God?!" He then laughed even more and more. It was quite strange.

"Mommy... What's going on?" You asked, getting tired of this weird situation. The question made your parents make strange faces. Kind of filled with... Hate? Shame? Both? The  _God_ then shifted his gaze from you, to your parents. And laughed. Again.

"Yeah, what's going on, Daddy?" he asked. The last word sounded very childish when he said it... Was he mocking you? A sigh then escaped your fathers lips. He started off wigh trying to say your name for a few times. Then he kept saying Bill's (or God's) name. And finally he gave up.

"He will be taking care of you now.." You father said, and bowed his head down. Your eyes widend, and once again trars started to stream down your face. Your mother bit her lip then spoke up.

"No... No, Bill you can't take her." Your mom said, and stood up. The strange man just raised an eyebrow.

"oh, really?" he asked, then with a snap of his fingers, he..  Um... Projected some kind of a video? There were your parents  But younger. And some sort of floating, glowing triangle. Your parents were kneeling at the same circle thst was in the basement. 

" Why'd you summon me, stupid mortals?" he asked, glaring at your parents. They bowed their heads down. Your father started talking.

"We...We wanted to make a deal with you, Bill Cipher." he said, sounding both terrified and ashamed. Not only did you almost laugh at the supposedly surname Cypher, but you connected the dots. The guy DEFINITELY wasn't a God.

"oh? Is that so? You're willing to sell two souls?" he asked, and he sounded very excited too. But then your mother shook your head and continued what your father had been saying.

"No.. Well... We don't know. We... We want a child." And that made triangle's eye sparkle.

"Alrighty then!" he said loudly, the reached out his hand. "I give you the kid, and you give me something later on in exchange." and then your parents shook hands with him. And projection ended.

"Well. I'm here. For the thing. I want the kid" Stranger said, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, with a huge grin. When you were about to protest, he clicked his fingers once again. Your head spinned, and the next thing you knew, you were cold... And puking. And then you were hot. And then screams. When you finally looked up you saw your home. On fire. With your parents inside.

You cried screamed. And the strange entity next to you just laughed and pat you on the back. Like it was nothing. Like your parents weren't just burning there alive. Like it was a joke. But it wasn't. It was way too real...

 

And even now, 8 years later, you still remember that night. The night when you stopped being free  The night you found out your parents were occultists. That their god was actually a demon. You can't forget this night. Never. Mainly because you have to see the murderer of your parents... Every day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In advance - sorry for any mistakes. English isn't my first language, so i may not use very... "smart" language.

You sat at the edge of a chair. Your nightmare has woke you up. Well... More like a memory. The memory that changed your life. You hid your face in your hands, and let out a tired sigh. Outside the stone walls, noises of fire could be heard. Fire. Screams. Absolute terror. And it was...what'd Bill call it again? Weirdmageddon. Or something along those lines. You've looked at your diary, then grabbed a pen and started writing everything that came into your head. And once again.. It were memories.

* * *

After Bill burned down your house, he grabbed your hand. (quite roughly may i add) Then, when you opened your eyes, you were in a floating room. It had floor, walls... But no ceiling. Where there was supposed to be something.. There was nothing. Everything outside the windows was pitch black. But at least there was a bed. A carpet. A desk. Bookshelf. And a door. Oh and triangular entity of course. Everything was drained of colors. Pretty much in grays. 

Tears still streamed down your face. You couldn't look him in the eye. Whenever you tried to, you felt scared. And it prevented you from moving. There was so many questions spinning in your mind. But one was the most important. 

"W-Why..?" Your voice broke at the beginning of this short word. But your gaze travelled to meet the... Surely not God. He started glowing, and laughing. It was so weird. His voice was weird. He was the plain definition of weird. 

"Oh, kid. Ya wanna know why?" he asked, wrapping his slim black hand around your shoulders. It made you shiver. He then snapped his fingers, and a mirror appeared in front of you. And when you saw your reflection, he ripped your eyepatch off of your eye. But you had it closed.

"Open it." He said. His tone was demanding and bored at the same time. But there was also a shade of... Laugh? You decided to follow his command. Who knows what he'd do if you didn't. And when you opened up your eye... You immidiately closed it. But before you did... A sharp pain shot right trough your head. A loud yell left your lips. It was horrible. Horrendous. No words could actually describe the pain. You felt something warm on your face  You knew what it was. Blood. 

Once again, the entity laughed. "Oh,  meatsacks are so dumb!" Then he moved closely to your face. You could hear faint static noise coming from his body. "But you're not a meatsack, kid" He said, then floated back. "I've made you, to help me, kid. You're a part of me." He said, then tapped right next to his eye.

And in a blink of an eye, he was close to you again. "Haven't you ever noticed that you're special, kid?" he asked. 

And then you remembered all the weird things. The things that you never remembered before. Laying in a circle. With people around you. Saying strange words. Stabbing you in the eye. It hurt. So badly.

You remembered lighting a kid on fire. He picked on you. And you just.. Snapped. Yelled at him that you wished he'd burn in hell. And the second you knew, he stood in flames. You were scared. So scared. 

Bill then snapped his fingers, all the visions had ended. And if he could, he'd probably smirk. He leaned on his cane and said the words that were like rules to you. Rules that you usually followed.

"You'll call me master from now on. Because i am gonna be one. Think of it like... You're my apprentice. And if you disobey..." He didn't finish. But the burning pain of your eye spoke for itself. Something was wrong. You wished for it to end. You hoped for it to end. 

But the hope was useless. And before you knew it.. You were alone in a room. Room with no escape. And Bill's laugh was stuck in your head. 

* * *

 

You knew so little back then. Now, everything's different. Now you know  _everything._

So your eyes darted to the door, right before Bill floated trough them. He said your name, in this idiotic voice of his. 

"Will anything disturb me in the near future?" he asked. Another tired sigh escaped your lips.

"No, master." you've lied. Partly. Near future could aswell mean just 10 minutes. "You can torment people in peace." you've replied in a monotonic voice. The triangle ruffled your hair, like he used to do a  _few_ years ago. 

When the demon left, you've wiped the blood from your eye. "Im sorry..." You whispered, more to yourself. The feeling of self-disgust hit you like a wave. "I guess I'm the demon here." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. It was actually suppossed to be even shorter, but i decided to squeeze in a little more of the plot.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not all events in the story will be in chronogical order. In this chapter we're skipping the first year of living your new life.

_15 years old. 2 years after being taken by Bill._

An ear-piercing scream left your throat, as you felt the knife stab into your stomach and move around. Bill was in his human form, holding the bloody tool with one hand. Smirking lika a mad man, and he was obviously aroused by it.

But what you were doing was in no way sexual. At least not for you. You've been hardening your body. Getting rid of the feeling of pain, as the demon said it himself. Well, it worked. You already can't feel when he's trying to choke you when you sleep.

You've learn a lot past these two years. Apparently you're a backup plan for Bill. To finish off his things if something bad happens to him. Which he himself said is nearly impossible. You've learned you can enter people's dreams, enter and leave mindscape, and you're partly immortal. Other abilities like lighting people on fire are not being tested yet. Bill said that it's more advanced. 

You're pretty sure he's bulshitting you for an uknown reason. But you decided not to pry. It's better this way anyway.

After next few hours full of agony, you saw black dots in front of your eyes. And you could feel static in your ears. It made Bill stop. You didn't feel anything. Nothing. So it finally worked. He sealed the wound with no problem  The sealing was usually also quite painful. You were glad it was over.

The demon had ruffled your hair. A smirk was plastered onto his lips. "Finally. After 2 weeks. It took way longer than i expected." he said, more to himself than to you. "Now, you go get dressed." He said, and then left with a flash of white light.

You werent actly naked. Just shirtless. At first you were embarrassed and refused to take off any clothing, but when Bill was sealing your wound, he sealed it along with the clothing. It was very painful, to say the least. He had to cut to up again. Besides, you've learned that he's just a demon. He's not into those things. Which is good, probably. But sometimes he acts weird when he's cutting you. 

When you dressed yourself, and cleaned the blood, you could see that triangle came back. In a... Triangle form. Honestly, you liked the human one better. He had feelings in it. And this one? It's not as good... Normal things can't hurt you, but when his demonic powers come in play...it's all different. Usually it has something to do with your eye.

"Bill, can you tell m-" And there it was. Horrible, horrible pain in your eye. It bled once again. More and more. You bit your lower lip, causing it to bleed as well. He then stopped causing you pain. He was red with anger. "Don't you remember what to call me?!" 

You've scolded yourself. When he was human, you could call him Bill. He himself even asked you to call him Bill in that form. "I'm sorry master..." you said, bowing your head. Blood dripping down onto the floor. When you looked up, he was gone. Once again. A sigh left your lips. Why couldn't you just get along like when he's a human?

* * *

  _16 years old_

You were sitting in your room, in a mindscape. Creating yourself a tv, and popcorn. You just imagined the taste. Bill told you it's sour. And you liked sour things. And apparently humans enjoyed eating popcorn when watching a movie. You weren't sure exactly, since you never been to a cinema or anything. 

When you sat and watched a horror movie, you could sense someone's presence behind you. So you didn't even flinch when Bill roughly grabbed your shoulders and yelled "boo" into your ear. He was in his human form again.

"Hey Bill" You said, with a slight smile. Honestly, you didn't smile as much as you used to. Your eyes become more blank. Your voice was duller. This was changing you. Bill was changing you. And the said demon laid on the couch, next to you, laying his head on your lap. He pretended to not care about not scaring you. 

"Whatcha watching?" He asked, looking at the tv. It was just starting. This stupid triangle did have a good timing...

"Friday the 13th" You replied, and started playing with his hair. A sound of pleasure escaped his lips. And no word was said through the rest of the movie. Well, except all the stupid complaints about the movie being too childlish. 

When it ended, Bill sat up and took your hand in his. It wasn't normal. It was weird. It scared you.

"Bill... What are you doing?" you've asked, looking straight into his eyes. A devilish smile made it's way onto his lips. You didn't like where it was going. He moved himself closer. Was he about to hurt you? With fear, you've teleported yourself out of the mindscape. 

You sat in the middle of a forest. You could even feel somebody's presence. Someone was watching you. Your eyes searched everywhere, but there was nobody. Or you just didn't see them. Or.. Was it Bill? The feeling of dread filled you. You were scared. So scared. He was acting unusual and it scared you so so much. 

You just sat there. Not moving an inch. For an hour or so. The person that was looking at you had left a few minutes ago. Then, Bill appeared as a triangle. Time stopped, and everything turned gray.

"There you are my little apprentice!" He exclaimed quite loudly, and grabbed your hand. But when he did, he became a human again. The time went back to normal. 

"W-What do you want...?" You've asked, looking at the ground. Bill wanted to say something. Do something. You saw that he was struggling. But you didn't know why. He started spasming the fuck out, and turned triangle again. 

He was glaring. Probably  It was hard to tell with that one eye of his. He said your name a few times. Each time it sounded angrier. Then a sound of frustration could be heard from him. "Go back to mindscape, right now!" he yelled, turning slightly orange-y shade. He was angry. And you? You were scared. So you did as he said. You left. 

And once again, you were in an empty room, in a mindscape. Scared. And confused. Just like 3 years ago. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

* * *

14 _years old_

You've sat in your room, in a mindscape. Scared. And nervous. The triangular demon was very irritable lately. You didn't know why. But he was showing his anger and irritation, mainly by abusing you. Your room had changed now. It was dark. And pretty empty. You've noticed it change sometimes. You were quite confused by it. But right now, all your thoughts were focused on Bill. Not in a good way, no.And just like that, the demon appeared right in front of you. Your eyes widened. He was red with anger.

"Wait Bi-" before you could finish, he snapped his fingers and sewed your mouth. It was quick, but messy and painful. Blood was dripping down your chin. Bill was mumblind something about a  _bad day_ and  _fucking useless meatsack._ That was unusual for Bill to swear. So he really did get angry today. More than ever. If he doesn't kill you, then it's your luckiest day.

With another snap of his fingers, you felt something in your insides. They were burning. You've never felt such horrific pain. You started to twist, and try to scream. It made you hurt even more when your sewed lips started to tear the sews. Blood was dripping down onto the floor. The only thing that could be heard except your screams of pain, was Bill's laugh.

After what felt like hours, a clicking noise could be heard. And the pain stopped. You laid on the floor, crying, clutching onto your stomach. Looking at the demon in disgust but also fear. 

"I fucking hate you..." you've said to him, spitting out the blood. He was horrible  Everything about him was horrible. And his resposne to your words, was just more laugh.

"You don't need to like me, kid. You only need to listen and not get in my way!" He replied in a sassy tone. It enraged you. How could you possibly not get in his way, when he was the one always coming for you?

"well then i  **don't want to be here! I want to get out!"** You yelled. A flash of light, and a strange sensation overcame you. And then you opened your eyes to see your burnt bedroom. Everything was charcoal black. You've gasped, and fell onto your knees. The sight was too much. You had to look away.

How did you do that? You've been trying to get out of mindscape for months. And now you did it just like that? How? And the only triangle that could answer your question had appeared right in front of you.

"Well, well, well, i see my littls apprentice had managed to leave mindscape!" He said. You weren't sure about his tone. It was weird to say the least. His hand rose up. You flinched and closed your eyes. You were afraid. Too afraid.

But when his hand touched your head, you felt it was human. He was ruffling your hair. Your eyes opened in suprise, and Bill had a strange smirk plastered onto his face.

"I hate to admit it, but I'm proud kid. Didn't think you'd get it so quickly." The praise from the demon made you blush. He never did such a thing. He was never nice to you. Ever. And this was just... So strange.

"T-Thank you, master" you stuttered out. Was your relationship going somewhere better?

 

* * *

_A week later_

Oh, you were do incredibly stupid to believe that the dream demon had a soft spot for you.

"You're stronger than i expected" he said. "It's time to train your body." he then added.

And just like that you ended up in your room, getting ripped open by the demon who was in his human form. He looked quite pleased to say the least. And you on the other hand, were in incredible pain.

From that day onward, you've tried to remind yourself that Bill is never going to change. He's always gonna be an asshole

* * *

_Present day_

You woke up in your bed. Next to you there was a familiar demon. He was just getting dressed. You've sat up and hugged him from behind. "Leaving so early?" you've whispered into his ear. He loved that. A chill visibly went down his spine.

"I have to. Something's wrong" He said  as he changed back into his real demon form. You bit your lower lip. 

"Please Bill, just a li-" before you could even finish the sentence, he turned around and with a snap of his fingers, you started twisting and turning. He purposely left a few places not 'hardened' to torture you. A loud scream left your throat. 

"Shut up. It's master for you. Remember that." and with those words, he teleported away. And you were left in your bed. Panting, sweating. A few tears had streamed down your face. Not because of the pain. Mostly because of the fact, that it might be the last time you see him. But you couldn't tell him. 

You had to be the hero that Gravity Falls needed. Even if it meant sacrifing a part of you. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus i'm sorry for the slow update, but i swear art school is killing all my free time....

???

* * *

 You've walked around the mansion in a minscape, that you have created. Long corridors, with rooms fool of things that you've forgotten about. Some of them are your memories. Some of them are your dreams. And some of them, represent the life that you wished to have. But it's all meaningless now. 

With a barely visible motion of your hand, you have created a window. And an illusion of a world outside of it. But when you came close enough, when you touched the fake glass... All the small, glowing pieces of stardust had jumped up, because of your sudden contact with them. It wasn't real. None of it was real. 

But what is real? You don't know. Now anymore. After all your studies with Bill, you can't tell what is what anymore. And then, you felt pain. Inside of you. In your mind. It spread onto your entire body. Your body fell onto the ground. You heard it hit the cold tiles. And you could see Bill, talking to a boy. You watched them, from a place that was between the  _reality_ and the mindscape. 

And you could swear, that Bill's eye, had locked with yours. He was looking straight at you, while talking to the white-haired boy. Just what was he doing? Making a deal? Was it present or future? 

Your question was soon answered, when the boy froze in place, and the demon had floated towards you. You just stared at eachother. Talking without letting a sound. You understood eachother, without words. 

_What are you doing? When will you get back? What is this?_

Bill's pupil had enlarged, when he somehow got all your questions. He reached out his strange black hand. Just when you were about to take it, he pushed it against your chest. And then he pushed you. 

You've lost your balance, your vision, and the sense of being free. An agonizing pain had took over your whole body. You felt yourself hit something hard, and then your eyes opened. You were laying on the ground, in a gold and black hallway. 

Your gaze fell to the tiles, which reminded you why you hate gold. Because it's his favorite color. No, not favorite. It's HIS color. It reminds you of him. 

You love it. You love gold. 

You don't. You hate gold. You hate him. 

No, you could never hate him. You have feelings towards him. Feelings that you can't explain. You started crying, and it hurt. Helplessly, you slammed your fist against the ground. The gold became dull. Gray. Then white. It was even worse than gold. 

Your crying stopped. You got onto your legs, and you continued drifting through the corridors. Your bare feet, stepping onto the eyes of all the triangles that were on the carpet. 

 You opened another door, and you were quite surprised. You didn't remember making this room. It didn't have gold. Only your real favorite color. It had a bed, a desk, a bookcase, and tv. It was needless, considering that all the books and tv programs are your imagination. There was a note on a desk. Your heart started racing when your gaze fell upon it.

Almost running to the desk, you snatched the note.

_I know it's your favorite color._

It was written in a bad handwriting.  _Human_ Bill's handwriting. The one that actually cares about you. The one that makes you like gold. And just this once, you smiled at the thought of him.

Isn't it horrible

That the person you love the most... And hate the most... Have the same body?

And the thought alone made you see a flash of white, an image of Bill's stone statue, and your face full of despair yelling the word  _free._

Then sadness filled you. And at that moment, you were glad he wasn't in the mindscape. Because you broke apart. You've destroyed everything, but the room that  **your** Bill made for you.

 


End file.
